Friday, December 29, 2017

Star Wars Land

How many of you would have killed to gone to this place as a kid?
(*Cataline tries to keep his hand pulled down and fails*)

I was kind of sorry when I heard that DisneyWorld was plowing most of the old Hollywood Studios Park  under and rebuilding it as something else.  I liked the 1940s Art Deco vibe and the throw back atmosphere to a time when you always put on a tux if it was past five o'clock, whether you were planning a night on the town or eating dinner at home with the wife and kids.

Sadly, children don't care about stuff like that and if they don't want to go to a place like that, then the family ain't going either.  A transition was inevitable. So now big swaths of the Hollywood Studios are being turned into Marvel Land, Pixar Land and Star Wars Land.  Those all seemed like safe bets...until recently.

John Lasseter of Pixar  just went into internal exile for "excessive hugging" (AKA being a credible replacement for Bob Iger).  So black-eye there.

Marvel films are starting to run out of gas as the desperate and over priced purchase of  21st Fox shows.  And that's to say nothing of hideous condition of Marvel Comics themselves. When the new editor got hired, I thought that Disney was starting to take notice of just how much a catastrophe Marvel Comics had become and was taking steps.  But now they have a much more terrifying problem on the horizon with Star Wars.

A 69% dropoff for the second weekend would normally be a red flag but of course Disney is claiming it's not even a yellow flag.  The SJW Hivemind has decided the narrative has been threatened, so you are a racist, sexist, Anti-Islamic (don't ask me why) homophobe if you think the The Last Jedi isn't the greatest Star Wars movie of all time.

The 69% figure has been slightly adjusted by Boxofficemojo but BOM is now getting leaned on (from what we shall call "various quarters")  to torture the numbers until they confess to heresy.  BOM is now declaring that last weekend was a FOUR day weekend so Last Jedi only had a 55% dropoff.  Consequently, I'm no longer relying on Boxofficemojo for accurate intel.  It is what it is, when reality and the SJW narrative are in conflict, reality always gets it wrong. Also math is hard.

So why is one movie underperforming a reason for Disney to panic?

Because the movies are just gravy.

If Star Wars suddenly tanks, Disney has a disaster on it's hands.  They are already committed to the biggest expansion in the history of Disney Parks with Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge.  They are well past the point of no return on that project. Prints are finished. The permits are filed.  The loans have been drawn.  It's already costing them interest.  It's going to get built but now it has to be source of stomach ulcers for the BOD.  Take a look below, this thing ain't cheap.

If Rose is there, I'm not going.

As bad as Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge collapsing would be, the truly epic failure would fall upon  the shoulders of merchandising.  Kids begging for overpriced lightsabers and collectible dolls are what made Star Wars a gold mine. At this point I don't see any kid clamoring to buy another Captain Phasma, let alone a Rose doll.* If the toy market tanks then Disney may as well spin-off Star Wars as a bad investment.

Right now the only people who love Star Wars are film critics and SJWs.  And the Purple Haired Childless Weirdos aren't going to drop seventy bucks on a Kylo light saber.

*What the hell kind of Star Wars name is, "Rose" anyway?


Johnny said...

Ain't it something where we are. Over at Rottentomatoes 29% of critics like Bright (the not SJW movie), 88% of the audience does. And then there is Star Wars: The Last Jedi. 91% of the critics like it (converged), 51% of the audience.

And meanwhile Boxofficemojo is getting "fixed."

Gotta do some "fixing" over at that Rottentomatoes website.

Remarkable where we are.

cavalier973 said...

I remember visiting Disney-MGM studios back in 1992. They had "cast members" that did impromptu street performance. We were watching three guys flagrantly cheat at a card game with a fourth guy. While we were standing there, a "robber" raced by being chased by a "cop". My brother hollered at the cop, who stopped and yelled, "What do you want?!?"
My brother pointed out that the guys were cheating, and the cop strolled over to the table saying, "What's all this, now? Are you cheating this guy without giving me my cut?" So the cheaters gave the cop some money, he wandered away, and the game continued.

The impromptu nature of the incident, the willingness of the cast members to play along with a "guest" (or whatever Disney calls park visitors), was impressive to me.

I visited Disneyworld 10 years later, and was disappointed to see that it had become a giant Disney Store, with rides.

Johnny said...

I take it as now obvious that The Last Jedi is a stinker. What is most disappointing for me is the level of lying on the various Internet websites. We are very close to having no reliable sources at all. The power of Disney I guess.

lowercaseb said...

>*What the hell kind of Star Wars name is, "Rose" anyway?

It's almost as good as her sister's name.

Paige ( )

The good thing is that on that planet where they are from...this means that there is a 100% certainty that a Chad exists in the Star Wars universe.

Cataline Sergius said...


More likely, the power of the narrative.

If you are an SJW then you automatically give TLJ a good review.

Example: John Scalzi. And about 90% critics are SJWs, it's one of those jobs that just seems to attract them.

Mr. Bee said...

Didn't Disney also drop some big bucks on their "Avatar Land" thing? That's a probable lose as well if the Avatar sequel doesn't gross a billion.

Wynn Lloyd said...

I haven't bought my children a Star Wars toy since they made a dindu the main character. In itself it didn't set me off, but the actor's arrogant attitude did.
Ninja Turtles and Transformers are better toys, anyway.

Cataline Sergius said...


With the purchase of 21st Century Fox, Disney now owns Avatar more or less outright.

Cameron is pouring about a billion dollars into shooting three Avatars simultaneously, consequently if each of the Avatar movies doesn't gross a billion the whole franchise will be a studio breaker. I suspect that Avatar and flagging X-Men sales were the reason behind the sale.

As for Avatar Land, I gotta hand it to Disney Parks. Flight of Passage lives up to the hype.

Ingot9455 said...

That billion dollars better include publicity.
The whole point of shooting back-to-back is that because you keep everyone and everything close by and committed, you get two movies for the price of one-and-a-half, or three movies for the price of two.
If you end up spending a billion dollars on it you're doing it wrong.