Saturday, April 29, 2017

Live Blogging: A Handmaids Tale

A Handmaid's Tale was cobbled together out of random bits of 1984 and Revolt in 2100 back in 1985, by noted crackpot and winner of the Extreme Canadian Award, Margret Atwood.

As I indicated the setting is stolen.  As is the plot and subtext.  The bad sex scenes are all Atwood's however.  She owns them.

For some reason when Feminists have decided they are feeling oppressed, like in the Eighties when Reagan was holding mass executions, they start passing this one around and saying, how important it is.  It's not of course but there's no telling insane Lefties that.

The book is about an extreme theocracy that takes over the United States and renames it Gilead.  This has to do with some kind of infertility plague, which isn't explained.  Anyway, fertile women are rounded up and put in a red robe to remind them of...sin?  Maybe Eve's?  Maybe their own?  I'd look it up but who the fuck cares?

This is the book that first gave me real qualms about Libertarians because not only did they like they it, they nominated it for their Prometheus Award. On the basis of their raving I saw the first film version of this.  I never could trust them again after that.

I was not impressed.  In fact I had to look up the ending on Infogalactic because I couldn't remember it.

Anyway, in a (successful) bid for critical acclaim and brand recognition, Hulu has created a new mini-series version of this book.  Which I shall now watch for your amusement.

Opening credits. 

A car chase scene.  Offred's husband is black now.  I'm not sure if that's new or not.  I mean it wasn't in the first movie but maybe it was in the book.  I will never know the answer for I refuse to find out.


Car crash and Offred and her daughter are running through the woods.  Gun shots indicating the husband is now dead.  Offred is taken prisoner.

Flashforward: We see Offred dressed in the wimple and red cloak of a handmaiden.  She is meeting Serena Joy, the wife of "the Commander".

She meets "The Commander" and at the end of the meeting says something vaguely polite to the man who is going to impregnate her against her will.  Serena is pissed about this.

I'm not going to make it through this without some beer.

The kitchen help is rude to the upstairs staff, which I assume Offred is, given that her job is fuck without passion of any kind "The Commander."  So that part is accurate enough.

Sidenote: Commanders are O-5s.  Not exactly the Chairman of the JCS here but they are sure acting like that's what he is.

We now meet Ofglen and it's Rori Gilmore who is trying unsuccessfully to play against type.  Any second I keep expecting to see Lorelei sidle up to the two of them and start making Eighties popculture jokes just like all the hip young kids do in 2017.

Shit, it's Flashback time.  They didn't bother with that in the movie.  Okay, so Offred has been taken to the Red Center.  And, huh...Interesting.

The producers of this show had a serious problem in terms of casting.  In order to make this SJW friendly you have to have at least one African American in a sympathetic role and the only sympathetic characters in this are Handmaidens.  In the book, Blacks are the Children of Ham and are being treated like Jews in Nazi Germany. That was the beginning and the end of Black people in the book.

Yet, here there is indeed a Black Handmaiden.  Indicating that either there is no problem with the Children of Ham in this version of a Handmaid's Tale or they are worried about the reaction of SJWs to an all White cast even if that is what Feminist Icon Margret Atwood required in her book.

And she's a lesbian.  Well you had to get that taken care somewhere along the line.  It's an economy of storytelling.  These boxes do have to be checked you know.

Okay, Offred and Ofglen are walking past a few corpses that have been hanged and a second problem for the producers has now showed up.  The corpses have headbags with the their respective capital crimes helpfully stenciled upon them.  One of the executed is a Catholic Priest, another is Gay (*complete with pink triangle courtesy of a resurrected Reinhard Heydrich no doubt.  Well if Gilead had only one resurrection spell available they used it on a good organizer*).  And the third is...oh, dear a problem showed up in the test audiences.

The third was clearly and obviously an abortionist.

The producers were so lost in SJW land that it didn't even occur to them that that is still a profession for the Untouchables of medical practice. Yet Offred refers to him as "a Doctor."  A healer of the sick, clearly executed at random for who knows what offense?  Nothing to see here.



Crap, I fell asleep.  What's happening now?

Ah, okay.  Offred is about to undergo The Ceremony.

This is the worst sex scene in cinema history....

I'm not kidding it's actually worse than Lea Thompson and Howard the Duck...

...

...it is all soooo incredibly boring...

...

...

...

...fuck this! I'm going watch Macross Frontier.


3 comments:

((( bob kek mando ))) - ( don't trifle with me, son. i'm a professional, certified 4th degree black belt in the ancient Hebrew martial art of Kibitz Maga ) said...

over at Ars Tech, genderqueer ((( Annalee Newitz ))) is doing her typical atheist feminist marxist sperging:

https://arstechnica.com/the-multiverse/2017/04/the-handmaids-tale-is-the-most-horrific-thing-i-have-ever-seen/

it amuses me that the "most horrific thing" Annalee has ever seen is ... a woman experiencing Darwinianly successful reproduction and being provisioned for, both mother and child.

it's such a fag oriented point of view.

LBD said...

I remember reading the book decades ago when it was first published. Although I was not nearly as conservative as I have become, it infuriated me then as it does now. In none of the commentary or literary criticism does anyone ever acknowledge that the dystopia depicted in the book and attributed to Christians in the future US. is a daily reality for women throughout the Muslim world now.

Thanks to female genital mutilation, the awful sex is the norm for women unfortunate enough to be born into Islam, as is the status of second wife, as is denial of education to girls, etc., etc. etc. Only Christianity ( and Judaism, but Jews are small in number), protect women by limiting marriage to one wife and protecting their body integrity from mutilation.

It is a complete slander on Christians ( and I say this as a Jew).

Jew613 said...

Hollywood has been trying for a very long time without success to make abortionists sympathetic. The thing is that while women may want the option of killing their unborn children even they view the abortionist as a filthy butcher. I guess some executive had the good sense to tell them that while it may be popular in Hollywood its looked at with disgust in Peoria so keep it semi-ambiguous.

In the past Hollywood always understood that even when pushing a left-wing message they needed to make sure there was a good story with interesting characters. Hell, some of my favorite TV series and movies were clearly leftist. They Live, Blue Collar, Alien Nation, among others, all excellent all leaning left. But its as if they've forgotten the most important rule: Keep the audience entertained.