Still, I want to be accepted and to WIN BIG! And this year, I think I may have finally nailed it. I’m going as something newsy, sexy, and cool: a Planned Parenthood doctor! -- Lena Dunham's newsletter
Wow! Did my Lena ever nail it!
Suck it down and say it's tasty bitches!
I mean look at it. It just screams Planned Parenthood Doctor. Start with the too lazy and self loathing to care about herself in the least man bun on top of her head. This is a woman whose sexual drive is completely dead. She will never feel anything downstairs again. Picture perfect!
Look at the baggy, soulless eyes that were once bright and full of ambition. But then discovered that no one. No one in the US is going to hire you for even a Doc-in-the-Box Minor Medical if you graduated from; "this is your last resort, we will take anybody so long as your check clears," Ross University in the Bahamas.
That hopeless part is just so spot on. Clearly this woman tried to give up medicine for awhile but couldn't make a go of life as a Century One real estate agent. Finally, in desperation she took a job cutting babies at Planned Parenthood. Slam dunk Lena!
Then there is the whole, "see I'm real doctor because I'm wearing a white coat" coat. Sure a button at the shoulder lab coat would say, "mad scientist".
Okay, not a button at the shoulder lab coat.
I admit that.
That's a thing.
But nothing says fail in the medical world like the need to wear a lab coat. Yes, your boss may force you to wear one, that does happen. But you can tell just by looking at Lena, that that is not what is going on here. She is wearing a lab coat in order to announce to the world. No, I swear to Almighty Glob, I am a real,no shit licensed to practice medicine in the city of Roseau on Dominica Island, graduate of the Devry Community College of Medicine.
Let's hit her check list:
Newsy, Sexy and Cool.
1. Newsy. Okay I admit it! I don't have slightest fucking idea what she means by that! That's also a thing! And I'm good with that! I hope you are too!
2. Sexy. (Deep, barrel chested sigh here.) Look my gal Lena has a heavily Xanaxed view of sexuality, particularly when it comes to an accurate estimate of her own (lets face it) limited powers of sexual attraction.
Not Lena Dunham
So Epic Fail there but I assume without prejudice that you were expecting that.
3. Cool; Absolutely! You don't get this level of performance art everyday. In Japan, Our Lena would be named a Living Treasure.
This is definitely the Charlie Sheen school of medical winning.
And my girl Lena nails it!