Monday, February 6, 2017

Boycott Budweiser

Last night's Superbowl was the greatest in the history of the NFL.

"With nine minutes to play, the Falcons were still up 28-12, and the ESPN probability calculator showed that they had a 99.6% chance to win the game, making the odds against a Patriots win 249-1. That long shot bet, if it existed (and it probably did exist at some casino somewhere), paid off!"

The first Superbowl to ever go into over time.  The first Superbowl where a 21 point deficit was overcome for a win. "The Interception."  "The Fumble Catch."  "The Second Coin Toss."  Tom Brady! Tom Brady! Tom Brady! 

Even Lady Gaga brought her A-game.

Man! What could ruin  a night like that?



The collection of lefty political sermons in commercial form did their best to invade the last great Red State Safe Spaces.  It was new and quite unwelcome.  I suppose the most egregiously stupid was the lumber commercial.  Forgive for stating the fucking obvious but Illegals are into soccer not football. I don't really care about that one or the AirBnb one either, as that was also expensive virtue signaling by a San Francisco company that is determined to cut it's own marketing share off at the knees.  Fifty percent of people who might have thought about using AirBnb will now find an alternative.  

SJW converged businesses that are over extended and determined to find expensive ways to destroy themselves while showing their bosses' friends just how totally groovy and righteous they are, are simply eye rolling but not annoying in any serious way.  The market will have their way with them.  Then it's the stock holders turn and they can expect no bailout's from the God-Emperor   

Also I have a TIVO.

Two that did piss me off were Audi and Anheuser-Busch.  

Here in heavily Calvinist West Michigan there are more Audis than there are Fords.  The reason is that for decades Audi had the reputation of being the sports car for accountants.  Low key but well engineered.  The quattro AWD could get through the snow like nothing else.  But it was still it had a very conservative and lowkey styling.  In 1990s Audis were the best get-away cars on the planet.  They could handle multiple surfaces better than anything else but you wouldn't look at them twice.  Then Ronin came out and cat was out of the bag.  Everybody suddenly knew that the Audi could "shove".  

Then this happened.

And the assholes who had been driving Beemers suddenly began a relentless migration to Audi.  

I suppose from a business perspective Audi's feminst virtue signal flair of an ad made sense.  After all they are a luxury car company and eighteen of the twenty richest counties in the US consistently went for Obama. This is now their market...(*long sad sigh*)...instead of West Michigan.  Ah well, perhaps I can adjust to driving an Alfa.

However the worst of the worst award goes to  Anheuser-Busch and their ridiculous brand new SJW friendly corporate image they just handed the King of Beers.  

When I turned fourteen, Dad invited me into Father's Den...a previously terrifying experience as that was the room I was not permitted to enter without his express permission, even when I was being sent there to be punished.  It was the Seat of High Justice.  Anyway Dad, plopped me down.  Popped open a Becks (his brand) and poured it into a glass for me.  "If you want a beer.  Have a beer here, at home.  Put some money on my desk for it but this one is on the house.  Happy birthday."

His timing and knowledge of human nature were both impeccable.  It was shortly after that, that a friend of mine came slouching up to me with some Bud that he had stolen from his Stepdad. Let me put this out on the table right now.  I've been successfully boycotting Bud pretty much ever since then.  And lets be clear about this, Cataline loves his beer.  

Budweiser is, simply put, awful.  It is fermented piss colored lager. It obviously uses so much rice in it's grain mash than I am honestly surprised that it is legally allowed to be called beer.  There is no part of drinking a Bud that is enjoyable.  The after-taste is metallic even when it comes out of a bottle,  The aromatics are just...wrong.  The flavor itself is weak and well...flavorless.    

Anheuser-Busch is single handedly responsible for America having had a decades long reputation for producing the worst beer on the planet.

This raises the very simple question of how the fuck did they stay...not just in business...but at the top of the mountain?

The answer to that one was consumer identification.  Bud may have been awful but it was a right of passage for any blue collar teenager.  Sure it was awful stuff but only faggots and sailors drank any other brand. Claiming you liked any other label was the same as saying you didn't like working on your truck.  Hell it was the same as saying you didn't like trucks.  It was like saying you preferred quiche to barbecue.  Bud had so guarded their reputation as the Beer of autoworkers, rednecks and hilljacks, that claiming you didn't like that shit seriously called your masculinity into question, to say nothing of your patriotism.

And now Anheuser-Busch has jumped in with both feet on the globalist band wagon.  This foreign owned company is now lecturing Americans on how to be Good Americans.  They honestly think they can do that. 

Look if you keep drinking Bud at this point you are beyond both hope and pity.

Yeah, it's cheep I'll give it that but you have so many other choices available to you now that are 100% American owned.  

Not the least of which is brewing your own.  

But be warned, home-brewing is a hell of a gateway drug.


Jew613 said...

After their Amy Schumer ad backfired Anheuser-Busch wisely changed directions. Instead of a fat smarmy New York woman lecturing working class guys on their privilege. They get to be lectured on how immigrants are the real Americans.

Personally I could never stand Budweiser, it's a disgusting beer. But nowadays there are very good beers you can drink without being an elitist snob.

This of course raises the question what is Cataline's beer of choice?

Cataline Sergius said...

Honestly it depends on my mood, the setting and the time of day...

This has the makings a fifteen hundred word comment so, I think I'll ruminate on my answer to your question overnight and just do a blogpost on it.