Thursday, January 12, 2017

Why Showergate Failed

This clown car pile up is getting more impressive by the minute.

David French over at the now obsolescent National Review is wringing his hands over every aspect of it. He can't decide what part upsets him more, The Golden Showers?  The lack of proof of Golden Showers?  The rise of the American Deep State? His offense at the utter incompetence of the Deep State?  The fact that everyone made fun of him when he said he was thinking about running for president after Trump won the nomination?

John McCain wants to know why everyone is blaming him for being a viscous and malignant old son of a bitch?  Does everyone have to be reminded of how much he suffered in Vietnam...again?  John, on the off chance you are reading this, being a hero once doesn't get you a lifetime pass for everything else you do from that moment on.   Either you are too old for your judgment to be trustworthy or you are just too mean to stay in public life at this point.  Either way this one sucked.  And we are calling you on the carpet for it.

The media branch of the Deep State is in double down mode...of course.  But then what else can they do?  This one is up there with the  TEXANG  memos that destroyed Dan Rather.  At least there is no way to prove this isn't false, they are telling themselves, that's a comfort.  And really how much worse can our reputations get?

So where did this one all go wrong in the first place?

Assuming it was the retired M-6 former ambassador and not 4 chan, (and let me tell ya I would not put money on that one),  The fault would have to lie with the Brit and the kind of sex scandals that he is used to back home.

This is from Mark Steyn:

I was asked the other day about the difference between American and British sex scandals. In its heyday, Brit sex was about the action - Lord Lambton's three-in-a-bed biracial sex romp; Harvey Proctor's industrial-scale spanking of rent boys; Max Mosley's Nazi bondage sessions, with a fine eye for historical accuracy and the orders barked out in surprisingly accurate German; Stephen Milligan's accidental auto-erotic asphyxiation while lying on a kitchen table wearing fishnet stockings…. With the exception of the last ill-fated foray, there was an insouciance to these remarkably specialized peccadilloes.


By contrast, American sex scandals seem to be either minor campaign-finance infractions - the cheerless half-hearted affair with an aide - or, like Gov. Sanford's pitiful tale (at least as recounted at his news conference and as confirmed by the e-mails), a glimpse of loneliness and social isolation, as if in the end all they want is the chance to be sitting at the bar telling the gal with the nice smile, "My wife, and my staffers, and my security detail, and the State House press corps, and the guy who writes my Twitter Tweet of the Day, don't understand me."


I can already picture how the meeting in Moscow went between Sir Chinless Adams-Apple and his source. Doubtless it was at Café Puskin.

Sir Chinless: Oleg! Good to see you again old friend how is Oksana and children?

Oleg: Oksana is recovering from her annual abortion at her parents dacha and we don't have any kids.

Sir Chinless: Splendid! Splendid, old boy. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Traditional Cold War reminisces are exchanged before getting down to business.

Oleg (laughing): ...and you wouldn't believe where we found that fucker's head!!

Sir Chinless (politely chuckling): Tres drole Oleg. Tres drole indeed. It was too good for Robert. Anyway, down to business. What did you find out about, "The Principal?"

Oleg (wearing his awkward face): Uh, not a lot I'm afraid. He appears to be clean.

Sir Chinless (wearing his stern face): I hired you to research his business dealings in Russia. How can he do business in Russia and not do anything that looks illegal?

Oleg (sweating slightly): By not doing business in Russia. He showed up, looked the place over and left. He couldn't figure out how to do business here. I don't think he knew who to bribe.

Sir Chinless (dryly): He should have hired you.

Oleg: I know!

Sir Chinless (long tired sigh): Oleg I am very disappointed in you. But more importantly my clients are going to be disappoint in me! You are sending me back empty handed and I can't hand my employer a voucher for lunch at the Puskin with nothing to show for it, they are currently Republicans. 

(Sir Chinless makes to rise thus sticking Oleg with a rather hefty check)

Oleg (In a panic) : Uh...uh...uh...Kompramat!!!

Sir Chinless (sitting back down): Promising.

Oleg: Uh, Kompramat operation, yes by the...shit what are they called this week...the FSB! Yes, the FSB yes. They have photographs of Trump having sex with a woman.

Sir Chinless (blinks twice and then makes to rise again this time with an utterly stunned expression on his face): You have to be kidding me, Oleg. Even his wife wouldn't care about that one. Even my clients wouldn't care about that one and that's saying something.

Oleg (flustered badly): Uh, two hookers!?

Sir Chinless: Better Oleg but only slightly.

Oleg: Um, pee? Yes he made them pee on each other?

Sir Chinless: Okaaaay? (clearly wanting more)

Oleg (briefly lost but suddenly returns triumphant) On the bed the Obamas slept on during their state visit.

Sir Chinless (sitting back down with a satisfied smile): That should work Oleg. That should work nicely. (Then mounts his sincerely concerned face) I understand you probably can't provide photos. 

Oleg (clearly thinking, since they don't exist that is a problem but instead says): In this age of Photoshop who would believe them anyway?

Sir Chinless: Quite. But are you certain, Oleg? Are you really, quite certain?

Oleg: As certain as I am of anything that happens in Putin's Russia.

Sir Chinless (signaling a waitress): Another round for me and my friend Love.



This was ultimately the problem for him. Sir Chinless simply expected far too much from an American political sex scandal. Honestly, film of one hooker would have been believable even if no one ever saw it or gave a shit about it. But given his cultures political instincts it was simply nowhere near enough for him. He couldn't accept it and had to drastically improve on his tale wherever possible.

Upside, after this one dies in a ditch, President Trump will be bullet proof. No scandal will be believed from this point on.

The Deep State is making Donald Trump by implication...the most trusted president in the last seventy years.

There is what is said...and there what is believed.


UPDATE:  Eeep! Apologies to Mark Steyn.  I forgot to link to the original article. That is now corrected.

2 comments:

bob kek mando ( Death To The Boor-geois, Keks To The Lol-etariat ) said...

baw-hahahahaha.

Mark Steyn linked you, quoting him.

http://www.steynonline.com/7671/where-no-debate-should-exist

Cataline Sergius said...

@Bob

Huh. I had been wondering why this one was getting better than average traffic.