Monday, September 5, 2016

Dragoncon Makes It Official...Worldcon is Dead

This is what cool looks like

First and foremost a rousing cheer for the fine and refined, the excellent and entertaining authors and artists who won the first of the Dragon Awards.

AKA the Awards That Do Not Suck.

Best Science Fiction Novel
Somewhither: A Tale of the Unwithering Realm, John C. Wright (Castalia House)
(*I am particularly pleased for you John.  If the Hugos still were what they had once been, you would be walking away with your third by now.  As it is, the Hugos are now diseased beyond hope of immediate cure.  More importantly Somewither is high end literature that will with stand the test of time.  It's important for the dignatas of the Dragons that it went to a book like that.*)

Best Fantasy Novel
Son of the Black Sword, Larry Correia (Baen)
(*I am indulging myself in nitpicking.  I suspect but can't as yet prove that Son of the Black Sword is Cthuloid Science Fiction but as yet we don't know that for certain.  Regardless Larry is over due for a major award at this point.  So well done, oh, Mountain that Writes!*)

Best Young Adult / Middle Grade Novel
The Shepherd’s Crown, Terry Pratchett (Harper)
(*Rest In Peace Sir Terry.  This wasn't your best work and I suspect you didn't actually write it but thank you for every else you offered us during your time on Round Earth*)

Best Military Science Fiction or Fantasy Novel
Hell’s Foundations Quiver, David Weber (Tor)
(*Didn't read it.  I've read your other stuff and I've enjoyed it but this one is by Tor.  Sorry David, not reading it. Not happening.*)

Best Alternate History Novel
League of Dragons, Naomi Novik (Del Rey)
(*On my to read list now*)

Best Apocalyptic Novel
Ctrl Alt Revolt!, Nick Cole (Castalia House)
(*Absolutely brilliant book.  It is a page turner and I couldn't put it down.*)

Best Horror Novel
Souldancer, Brian Niemeier (Self-published)
(*Also on the list*)

Best Comic Book
Ms. Marvel
(*Not on the list*)

Best Graphic Novel
The Sandman: Overture, Neil Gaiman & J.H. Williams III (Vertigo)
(*Fuck you Neil*)

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy TV Series
Game of Thrones
(*Fuck you George*)

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Movie
The Martian
(*Great movie and a great story.  I heartily approve.  The Dragon's are lucky in that actual sciencey type Science Fiction with actual science and everything has made a come back just as these awards kicked off*)

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy PC / Console Game
Fallout 4 by Bethesda Softworks
(*Okay. This won. It happened.  I accept this.*)

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Mobile Game
Fallout Shelter by Bethesda Softworks
(*Excellent game. *)

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Board Game
Pandemic: Legacy by ZMan Games
(*I'll take your word for it.*)

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Miniatures / Collectible Card / Role-Playing Game
Call of Cthulhu Roleplaying Game (7th Edition) by Chaosium Inc.
(*See the above comment*)

Again, congratulations to you all.  (*Except for Neil and George.  Fuck you guys*)

Now that that has been covered let us examine the question of why are the Dragons better in every conceivable way to...(*eew*)...this;

It's unsurprising that certain men want them so much
They are very phallic 

First lets start with the attendees of the conventions in question.

What is the most common denominator of the people who attend Worldcon...

...versus the people who attend Dragoncon?

Yes, they are indeed all nerds but I feel certain that there must be some kind of dividing line between them.

If only I could puzzle out what it is?


Okay, it's not just that.

I won't beat around the bush anymore the people that go to WorldCon are freaking old.  The first photo is a an accurate demographic representation.   The people who attend the old school conventions have been doing it for at least thirty years.  Some of them clearly have been doing that a lot longer.  Its their lifestyle.  Their "mundane" lives are simply a way to support their fantasy personas.

Cataline shall now quote Cataline:

The people that went to the cons never fit in anywhere else.  Most were at least one standard deviation above the norm in terms of intelligence but it didn't do them any good.  Instinctive knowledge of social mores was impossible for them.  The truth is their efforts to raise their status among their peers with frequent displays of superior intellect, annoyed the crap out of everyone around them.  They paid for it socially and a failure loop was established.  Today we would think of these people as high functioning autistics.  The truth is that a normal life was always beyond them.

Most of them were poor.  The money to get a hotel room and pay for Con registration was a major investment for them.

 Loneliness infected every facet of their lives.  Sex was limited to self help. No one shared their interests or if they did, those people had the damn good sense to keep that shit to themselves.  Sharing those interests with nerds was nowhere near worth the ensuing pariah status in high school.

When the Cons came along, these defectives could wrap themselves in a world where they could pretend that they were secret kings.  The Identity of the TrueFen was established along with their lords and leaders the SMOFs.  It was their safe space. It was their only social outlet It was their escape.

Their real lives were lived entirely in support of this secret identity.  An identity that gave them worth and eased the pain of loneliness. The real world turned into the Mundane World and became even more hated than it was before. 

 In short the people that attend WorldCon are defectives.  There it is in a nutshell.

So why are they so old? You ask and Cataline answers.


The Con's primary feeder used to be college kids.  There were a few other types (veterans for instance) that would show up but primarily it was college kids. Fandom used to be decently represented at mid-level state colleges but it isn't anymore.  It's presence is now non-existent.  The kind of clubs that used to spring up for fans just aren't there anymore.

There are plenty of reasons for that.  Some of it is more restrictive university policies regarding "off-campus" clubs meeting on campus.  Some of it was the dawn of the age of the internet.  You'll notice that Legacy Cons stopped recruiting about the same time as the internet arrived.   And finally there is the nature of the people who run the Legacy Cons.

They know intellectually that they need younger people to survive but emotionally they just don't want the new blood around.

The New Cons absolutely do want younger people around.  They are run by people that want to have WrongFun.  As witnessed by this famous quote:

"if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES."

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