Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Girl From Shake It Up Is Playing Mary Jane Watson

Since I have a daughter that is the right age, I actually do know a bit about Shake It Up.

I know it was a Disney Channel show about adolescent girls who had a dance show they worked on.

I know it was canceled when the girls stopped being adolescents and started being teenagers.

I know that my shows on the TIVO somehow magically vanished in order to make room for more episodes of it.

So when I head that one of the girls from the show was going to be playing Spiderman's iconic girlfriend Mary Jane Watson, I vaguely approved.

This is Mary Jane Watson

This is Bella Thorne from Shake It Up
Red hair; check
Spunky yet sexy; check
Looks sort of like the character:  double check

Before I go further let me say that I don't have a dog in this fight.  My interest in Spiderman died with the cruel and wholly unnecessary death of Gwen Stacy.

The drastically superior original girlfriend

Gwen Stacy's stupid death because of  Spiderman's botched rescue attempt ended my relationship with Marvel on the spot.

I immediately transferred my loyalty to Superman who never once fucked up a basic, "catch the girl as she's falling from a skyscraper rescue."  I mean that shit is superheroing 101.

After Gwen's death.  Mary Jane moved in to take her place in Peter Parker's heart but not mine.

Although she's been dead for forty years,
 Marvel frequently digs up poor Gwen's corpse.
And fucks it

So as I said I have no Dog in this fight.  I was just sort of pleased that I recognized the name of the show Shake It Up and placed the girl who will be playing Mary Jane in the newest reboot of Spiderman.

Except of course, I didn't.

I mentally neglected the fact that there was another girl on Shake It Up.

Meet the extremely new Mary Jane

I fully expect that the next iteration of Mary Jane Watson will be a pre-op non-binary,  transgender, tansracial LBGTQWERTYWORDSALAD. 

Hollywood's frantic obsession with cross racial romance has now crossed into the farcical.   They are already yelling that racist white basement dwellers are completely losing their shit over this brave choice.

Good lord Spiderman Homecoming is still filming.  How fucking bad are the dailies that they feel they already need to be laying the ground work for a feminist Ghostbusters marketing campaign?

See the third new Spiderman since 2007 or you are racist!

UPDATE: A friend has informed me that Bella Thorne has been given the booby prize of voicing the animated version of  SpiderGwen.  Who is apparently an alternate universe of Gwen Stacey who got bitten by "the spider."  An idea so stupid only Marvel could think it up.


Sillon Bono said...

Suddenly I feel like not going to the cinema to watch this.

I'll probably watch it on torrentvision or most likely would not watch it at all.

Life is too short to waste it on SJW shit.

Cataline Sergius said...

No kidding.

Disney had the final call on the casting decision but there is zero doubt in my mind that Sony had no problem with it.

They did the same with the Flash and there is so little chemistry between those leads I suspect they are thinking about killing off Iris.

Undocumented Pharmacist said...

I never could warm up to Pumpkinhead (can't remember her name) from the Tobey McGuire trilogy, though I though everyone else was fine (except Martin Sheen, he's an ass). Emma Stone was blah in the Garfield versions as Gwen.

To have Bella Thorne staring them right in the face for MJ and then go with the black girl? I'll go along with it as long as they change out the current Black Panther and give the role to McLovin from Superbad.