Friday, August 26, 2016

Okay If Hillary is So Damn Healthy...

It's hardly a shock that the media is in the tank for Hillary.  If you didn't expect that, then you've gotta find out how the world works.

So naturally, questions about a frail old drunk's health that are being raised by the Alt Right are of course, dismissed out of hand because actually examining them would be severely damaging to Hillary's chances.

However, Jim Goad at Takimag has like me been asking a few questions about Obama's heir-presumptive.


WHY DOES SHE FALL SO MUCH?
She fell in 2009 and broke her elbow. She fell while boarding a plane in 2011. In 2012, she fainted, fell, and suffered a concussion that left a blood clot on her brain. Earlier this year, either she fell and was helped to her feet by bodyguards, or Ol’ Muffin Ass had trouble scaling a small flight of wooden stairs by herself. Last week she appeared to stumble after introducing Joseph Biden in that Basset Hound bark she has while giving campaign speeches.

WHY DOES SHE COUGH SO MUCH?
It makes her look unhealthy. Extremely unhealthy. It’s as if she’s ready to hock out her esophagus like a big bloody loogie. All that cringeworthy hacking and gagging and throat-clearing and water-sipping and choking leads a curious mind to wander through cognitive meadows that allow the possibility that Hillary Clinton has a lung tumor the size of a football.

WHAT’S WITH THAT PSYCHOTIC CACKLE OF HERS?
The woman whose cold womb Bill Clinton once saw fit to impregnate has perhaps the most sadistic and inappropriate witch-like laugh mine ears hath ever heard. If that’s not a sign of severe neurological damage, I will have to presume she is possessed by Satan....

I Edited out this next part because it's nothing I haven't covered myself.

WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE HOLE IN HER TONGUE?
Why is there a recessed hole on her tongue the width of a dime? Is it where her Council on Foreign Relations robot chip was implanted? Or is it where an especially severe oral herpes sore was removed? What about a cancer biopsy? Or an excised tumor? Or syphilitic glossitis? Or even the dreaded speckled erythroplakia? Whatever it is, I wish she’d keep her mouth shut.

1 comment:

Atlas Wept said...


Great read!

FYI: Webster "Webb" Hubbell "sired" that mutant filly Chelsea, not "Slick Willie."