Friday, February 12, 2016

Cosmo Goes Full Retard on Guns...Okay They've Been There for Decades But This Part Is New

Cosmopolitan remains the most magnificent fountain of stupidity on this planet. 

This magazine which is famous for having "fifteen articles on why your man is shit.  And one on why you should wake him up with a blowjob," is partnering with Bloomberg's anti-gun Every Town to produce various anti-gun PSAs under it's new name plate.

This website bravely tells women how to get in the face of "gun-splainers," by use of logical fallacies because gun owners are too dumb to understand things like:

Strawman attacks

Ad Hominem attacks

Anecdotal Evidence

Cherry Picking Facts

Appeals to Mindless Emotion

And Accusations of Hypocrisy (AKA Tu Quoque)

Although they never get to the last one they pretty much stick with strawman and stay there.

Now none of this new but they did come up with a very Cosmo twist to this.  A lot this article seems to be built around the vital importance of not having sex with gun-owners.  I'm not joking.

They even provide a helpful video to show women how to shoot down a gun owner who is trying to pick up a Cosmo reader in a bar.

This is titled; You Wouldn't Date A Mansplainer...

Video begins. Opening is set in a bar.


A very Cosmopolitan Woman who is in the wrong bar for that kind of a woman is drinking and up to her walks Joe Douchebag the gunsplainer.

Gunsplainer:  Hey gorgeous, whatcha drinkin?"

(*groan*)  Well I've seen worse approaches of course.  Although if this was an actual pickup attempt, he should have dropped the, "hey gorgeous."  And just asked about the booze.

Girl (disinterested already): Bourbon.

Okay given the music that's playing and the fact that she's drinking bourbon, there is a real possibility that he has wandered into Les Bos.  Probably not the most productive hunting ground but you never know.

Gunsplainer: That's a strong a drink for a pretty little thing like you

(*sigh*) On the off chance that she wasn't gay, (not a good one BTW),  he should have followed up with question as to what brand was she drinking. That would tell him if she was sampling some obscure boutique whiskey that he could then ask her further questions about.  It could be an ice breaker.  And a safe one because there aren't that many good looking women in bars that are used to paying for their own drinks.

Then again strawmen aren't supposed to ask the good questions


Gunsplainer: "Name's Gary.  Part time cashier.  Full time patriot.

Wow! A part time cashier.  Had to get that one out there fast didn't they?  Gun owners are of course all dirt poor uneducated white trash without a penny to their names.  Although how the violent poor can afford to have what is arguably one of the most expensive hobbies out there is beyond me.

She is naturally put off by his low economic status. Although I wonder how she would have reacted if Gary the Gunsplainer's job title was Medical Radiation Physicist (median income 250K)? Which is the job title of one of the biggest gun nuts I know.


Jessica, I'm in the Service

Gary: (very condescending): Ooo Lady Solider.  That Uncle Sam is one Lucky, lucky guy.  So you carry a gun?

Jessica (being politely patient): I am licenced and trained to carry a firearm, yeah.

And the bullshit flag goes up and waves while dancing robots shoot fireworks into the air.  

Ah, no sugar.  Being in the military does not even come close  to giving you a license to carry.  Pretty much the opposite in fact.  Military bases are the most gun controlled places in America.

A junior enlisted woman (screw you with bells on Ashton B. Carter) would almost certainly not be pistol qualed unless it was one of the few billets that are MOS specific for that.  Regardless, being pistol qualed sure as fuck isn't the same thing as having a CCW.  Try and conceal carry off base without one and you could be looking at some very serious legal trouble.

This isn't just a lie, it is a staggeringly ignorant lie.  It's a 1950's sitcom housewife trying to describe a fake football game to her husband that she didn't actually see because she was doing something that she wasn't supposed to, sort of lie.  It was a (really exciting game Ricky!  The batter caught the puck and dribbled it into the goal for a homerun!  Lu-cy, what have you done?  Whaaaa!) kind of lie.

It's that fucking stupid and abjectly ignorant.  But again, it's Cosmo.


Gary:  Yeah I'm packing right now.

Gary then opens his coat in the middle of a bar to display four pistols.  All in cross draw holsters which not only guarantees a pretty slow draw but also depending on what state he lives in Gary could be charged with up to three felonies for brandishing in public. Maybe this takes place in Vermont.

Gary then goes on to explain all the various unwise places he would carry his guns, so that he could be a "good guy with gun." Some places are illegal, some are silly. All of this is done to demonstrate how unsafe legal gun owners are.

Interesting, they do completely drop the mask at one point.


Gary: These guns are the only thing standing between us and tyranny.

Jessica: So you are telling me that it will keep the government..(smirk) which means soldiers like me, from coming in to get all your guns, right?

I'm surprised they were that naked about it but there it is.  Military confiscation of firearms is very much on the table so far as these dumbshits are concerned.  Yes it would be completely illegal under the posse comitatus act but the Obama years have given the SJWs a scintillatingly addictive taste for autocracy and now that they've tried it, they just want more.

That using the military for this project is the very definition of tyranny is quite beyond the point if it gives Cosmo reader the crunchy good feelz.  There are of course the minor problems for the military of complete moral collapse, fragged officers and mass desertions.  But big picture time it will give the women that read Cosmo a moment or two snide self righteous inflated least until the IEDs start going off in Tribeca.

Gary should have replied, "Molon labe, baby!"  But in no universe would Cosmo readers be remotely capable of understanding ancient Greek.

The rest of this video is showing how a smart, tough go getting young woman shoots down a gun-splainer who is trying to pick her up.  This video is not firmly based in reality as you can tell from the fact that an uneducated part-time cashier hilljack gun owner is hitting on a black girl.  I know those guys and it just wouldn't happen.  Their friends would talk.

You couldn't even call this an attempt at humor it's just snark in video form.

Anyway this website also has helpful FAQs.

Here at least we get a variety of SJW Falacies. 

The presentation is interesting from a clinical standpoint.  It's done in a format that goes;

 Lets take a look at it.  Here we go;
HE SAYS: “Why bother strengthening our gun laws, criminals will find ways to get guns anyway!”

No. Not precisely what pro-gun guys actually say. What we really say is more problematic, i.e. "Criminals never buy their guns legally."


(no fact actually provided)

YOU CAN SAY: “That’s like saying why outlaw bank robbery? Bank robbers are always going to steal.”

Misdirection.  This completely ignores your statement and replies with to something else entirely.  It is a more basic logical fallacy of comparison.  All cats have four legs.  My dog has four legs.  Therefore my dog is a cat.  She is pretending to address what you said, when in fact she has ignored what you said completely.

In the 18 states that require background checks for all handguns, there are 46% fewer women shot to death by intimate partners than states that don’t. Closing the loophole in the rest of the country will help save women’s lives.

FALLACY: Cherry Picking.  This is the usual basic Cherry Picking of a string of non-related facts, that the Cosmo reader is simply expected to memorize and vomit forth upon command in a Pavlovian manner.  It is rhetoric disguised as scienceBack when SJWs were vulnerable to reason you could pull something like this apart in front of them like a roast chicken and they would be left flabbergasted. Questioning everything they believed until they went to bed that night and then restored to their last save point. Then they would get up in the morning and act like it had never happened. 

Now they just stamp their feet and double down on the feelz. 

I approve.

It saves time.


HE SAYS: “Hey, more people are killed every year by hammers than by rifles.”

Actually one of us would be saying, 'Combat Rifles kill less people than hammers every year,' in a pointless attempt at trying to sway a gun control idiot with facts about how useless an Assault Rifle Ban is.  It's not about facts with these people.  Just start by insulting them, believe me, you can't convince them.


(They always say "Fact" right before they completely fail to produce one)

YOU CAN SAY: “I think it’s time for a math lesson.”

It's time to torture the numbers until they will confess to anything.

About 12,000 Americans are murdered with firearms — including handguns, rifles, and shotguns — every year. Approximately another 21,000 die by suicide with a gun. About 900 or so die from being struck by blunt force objects, like hammers and fists.

FALLACY: Appeal to Emotion, combined with Cherry Picking. Note the lie disguised as truth.  Your point about Combat Rifles was completely ignored.  And every kind of fire arm death was suddenly rolled together to create a number that is big enough to stop all higher cognitive function with its sooper horrific hugeness.  You just got to do something about this problem without thinking about it, when the numbers are this big!!! 


HE SAYS: “Background checks are just the first step in creating a national registry. Then they’re going to come take all our guns.”


YOU CAN SAY: Paranoid, much?

You will note the word "Fact" preceded a completely factless  Ad Hominem attack.


Nobody’s talking about taking away guns from responsible gun owners. It’s a fantasy that the gun lobby uses to incite fear in the minds of gunsplainers everywhere. In fact, under federal law, creation of a national registry is explicitly illegal.

FALLACY: Not actually a fallacy just an outright bare faced Big Lie.


Every damn one of them is mentally following lemming-like in the footsteps of Dear Leader in his praise and desire to emulate the Australian Model.  Which was nothing short of enforced confiscation. This flat out lie is right up there with "if you like your doctor,  you can keep your doctor."

There are two more of these but they are so completely emotion driven that,  "It is like wrestling with (a) giant jellyfish...The substance is too slippery to grasp and there is not even a brain to stun."

I'm not entirely certain what hell the point of this website is supposed to be?  I mean sure it's anti-gun.  It was designed in Manhattan so that is a given.  But it's also very much about how dating gun owners isn't dirty-sexy-cool.  Did they think there was a rash of Cosmo readers having sex with gunsplainers?  Why did they think that?  Or worse how did they know that?

Maybe it's simpler.  Maybe a Cosmo editor got really, really upset by something she read on the internet.  This quote from attractive African American, Collion Noir receives a place of special prominence at their website.

"The HK MR556 is that gun that's like that girl who's unbelievably attractive, she has this presence about her that seems untouchable and she's not apologetic about her her beauty."

Yeah that was it.  That's what started it.

No Cosmo editor looks anything like that and they will destroy any gun that does.

1 comment:

SciVo said...

A Cosmo editor was so anti-gun that she was vulnerable to gun nut shitlord game, then felt guilty the next day and had that made to expiate her sin. Thereby incidentally setting up her audience to be similarly vulnerable.