Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Gen X Is Forced to Reinvent the Rake

Tinderella culture has reached it's natural endstate. Millennial girls have run out of men on Tinder.

Remember that thing you said about, "the last man on earth."

It's time.

The internet is all a twitter (sorry), over  Nancy Jo Sales Vanity Fair article; Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse. 

A hilariously clueless piece on the bottomless downside for women of the Tinder hook up culture.  There is absolutely nothing in this article that is a news to any man who has taken the Red Pill. It's all there.

It is the very abundance of options provided by online dating which may be making men less inclined to treat any particular woman as a “priority,” according to David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin who specializes in the evolution of human sexuality. 

So when there is more of something, it is worth less? Holy shit! When did that start?  Yes indeed, even pussy loses it's incalculable value when it is being thrown at you by the bushel basket as you stroll down the internet highway.  

“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. “Who’s slept with the best, hottest girls?” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”

He says that he himself has slept with five different women he met on Tinder—“Tinderellas,” the guys call them—in the last eight days. Dan and Marty, also Alex’s roommates in a shiny high-rise apartment building near Wall Street, can vouch for that. In fact, they can remember whom Alex has slept with in the past week more readily than he can.

“Brittany, Morgan, Amber,” Marty says, counting on his fingers. “Oh, and the Russian—Ukrainian?”

“Ukrainian,” Alex confirms. “She works at—” He says the name of a high-end art auction house. Asked what these women are like, he shrugs. “I could offer a résumé, but that’s about it … Works at J. Crew; senior at Parsons; junior at Pace; works in finance … ”

“We don’t know what the girls are like,” Marty says.

“And they don’t know us,” says Alex.

Look Alphas are always going to get laid.  Always have. Always will.  But thanks to Tinder,  Hinge and the like, every one of them is basically now an Ottoman sultan boredly contemplating which concubine is to be summoned this evening. 

“Apps like Tinder and OkCupid give people the impression that there are thousands or millions of potential mates out there,” Buss says. “One dimension of this is the impact it has on men’s psychology. When there is a surplus of women, or a perceived surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating. Marriages become unstable. Divorces increase. Men don’t have to commit, so they pursue a short-term mating strategy. Men are making that shift, and women are forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.”

This is a man who we wasted an entire education on.  The statistic that this howler monkey in corduroy isn't looking at is, that it is only the top fifteen percent of men that are invited to the feast.  The other 85% get the big Left Swipe. 

Now hold on there a minute. “Short-term mating strategies” seem to work for plenty of women too; some don’t want to be in committed relationships, either, particularly those in their 20s who are focusing on their education and launching careers. Alex the Wall Streeter is overly optimistic when he assumes that every woman he sleeps with would “turn the tables” and date him seriously if she could. And yet, his assumption may be a sign of the more “sinister” thing he references, the big fish swimming underneath the ice: 

You have got the gist of this article by now, right?  A feminist has noticed there there is a big cultural problem.  But the root cause of the problem is feminism and she is so drastically over invested in third wave feminism,  She cannot possibly face the truth.

For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’ …

How is it that men are still permitted any say in their lives whatsoever?  Why do we live in a world where men aren't kept in corrals for our pleasure? 

The good news doc, is that you do live that world.  

The bad news is, you don't want those men. 

There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”

By puzzle out she means twist herself into a logic pretzel until feminism can't be blamed for anything.  Never forget, anything a feminist doesn't like is always misogyny

Here is my favorite bit from the article.  Discussions with grrrlz.

“It seems like the girls don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all,” Fallon says.

Honestly it's sluts, not girls, that don't have any control over the situation because (*and Cataline awards himself the Captain Obvious Prize here*), every slut is exactly like every other slut.  They are all as disposable toilet paper and as interchangeable as the condom that was just used one. You can not be a slut and be of any value to men

“It’s a contest to see who cares less, and guys win a lot at caring less,” Amanda says.

Darling you have entered the Tinderverse.  A world where if you haven't dropped your panties, five minutes after meeting a guy, you can't compete.  Of course they don't care about you.  Indeed and truly, they simply can't.  You have made yourself into little better than a blowup doll that talks and he wishes it wouldn't. 

“Sex should stem from emotional intimacy, and it’s the opposite with us right now, and I think it really is kind of destroying females’ self-images,” says Fallon.

Destroying this particular self image is by no means a bad thing.   Although I admit the price tag is too high.  The simple truth is that you can't put having been a slut behind you...ever.

“It’s body first, personality second,” says Stephanie.

No!  Really? 

This is the real problem for the Tinderellas.  Women are holistically sexual.  Men are just visually sexual.  And due to market abundance there is no reason to invest yourself emotionally in these girls if you are a man.  

Oh and by the way if you want the Tinderellas blowing up your phone.  Make certain you have your shirt off when you post your picture to Tinder.  That's how they can judge if you have a great personality or not.  There is also quite bit of complaining about men's sexual performance.

“Honestly, I feel like the body doesn’t even matter to them as long as you’re willing,” says Reese. “It’s that bad.”

Correct. The Tinderverse has actually been the most brutal for the Tens.  Before Tinder came along Tens. could win the game by holding out for a while.  Now, thanks to Tinder and it's clones they have to be down on all fours right next to the Sixes and Sevens on the first date, just to compete.  

“But if you say any of this out loud, it’s like you’re weak, you’re not independent, you somehow missed the whole memo about third-wave feminism,” says Amanda.

Actually it makes you a problem for third wave feminism.  You see, you are becoming acquainted with reality and lets face it feminism and reality simply do not mix. If there is a problem between you and third wave feminism, then you are automatically the problem.  So shut up about it and pretend you like being damaged or you will face the wrath of the Central Committee for thought crime.   

“The hookup culture is … bound up with everything that’s fabulous about being a young woman in 2012—the freedom, the confidence."  That is a quote in the article from the queen of the post child bearing barbies herself Hanna Rosin. 

So remember Millennial Girlz, when you take one in the magic V-spot, you take one for the team.  You are performing the all important task of preserving Hanna Rosin's insane world view.  She can't be a slut herself any more. I mean, Good lord just look at her

Seriously, there are no beer googles thick enough .

So you have to be a slut for her.  Personal sacrifice is necessary for feminism to succeed and the sooner you damage yourself beyond repair, the sooner you can be as insane as Hanna.  She can't keep doing it by herself forever, she's going to have to commit suicide one day and you are going to have to step up and take her place. 

“Online dating apps are truly evolutionarily (sp) novel environments,” says David Buss. “But we come to those environments with the same evolved psychologies.” And women may be further along than men in terms of evolving away from sexist attitudes about sex. 

Howler monkey hate his penis much?

“Young women’s expectations of safety and entitlement to respect

THERE WE ARE, THE MAGIC WORDS.  "entitlement to respect"  

No "respect" is not a right.  You are not remotely entitled to it.  Respect is in fact a bone deep emotional response.  It can't be granted by the state as a massive emotional empowerment program.  It can not be made an award for having successfully drawn breath.  It can't be downloaded free at the app store.

Respect is impossible to give.  RESPECT has to be EARNED.

Respect is not courtesy.  Courtesy, I will grant, any woman is entitled to from me so long as they remain courteous in kind.  Remove that courtesy and I am under no obligations to them at all.  Courtesy is a social construct.  Respect is not.

 have perhaps risen faster than some young men’s willingness to respect them,” says Stephanie Coontz, who teaches history and family studies at the Evergreen State College and has written about the history of dating. “Exploitative and disrespectful men have always existed. There are many evolved men, but there may be something going on in hookup culture now that is making some more resistant to evolving.”

Evolved Male in case you don't know, is code for Beta Orbiter.  

I'm an evolved male!

Okay, so the problem is exactly what we of the Red Pillverse have been saying the problem is for a while.  Feminine hypergamy has been ludicrously enabled.  Largely to the detriment of women. They have been told for forty years that there is absolutely no downside for a girl in behaving like a drunken fratboy.  They can do this until age thirty-five or so and then they can marry the man of their dreams.

Any perceived loss of desirability by high status males is a lie of the phalocentric patriarchy.  Men can be educated so that they will find undesirable women desirable after all.

Meet Lena, 

You are ordered to want her.

It was all a lie of course.  Only now the feminists noticed it.  Except of course that they haven't.

Everything is still viewed through the psychedelic kaleidoscope of thirdwave feminism.  Any problem women have handed themselves is entirely the fault of men.

Frankly a lot of men are at fault for this.  They are all called feminists.

The delta/gamma males who backed the third wave pony were all secretly hoping that if young straight women all started behaving like middle-aged gay men, then a lot of that freely available sex would be coming their way.

Epic. Fail.

We all know exactly what happened.  The same top fifteen percent of the males who were landing the Nines and Tens started sport fucking the girls ranked Eight through Six (Fives when drunk), forcing the Nines and Tens to start sluting around just to compete.

I was deeply touched by the plight of the Millennial  Alphas in this article.  They are being worked to death, trying to keep up with the completely unrealistic demands for sexual gratification of  Millennial females.

On top of that the Millennial females are demanding emotional connection and romantic gratification as well.  It's simply impossible for the current crop of Alphas to meet all these needs at once.  They have decided, rightfully I feel, to concentrate on the physical side of things.

So what do the girls do now?  Well they could of course do what their mothers and grandmothers did before them, lower their expectation and take some poor but honest Delta or maybe even Gamma off the market.

But this generation of woman has been told, "baby you can have it all" from the time she could walk.  She wants an Alpha and she wants that Alpha all to herself.

The good news is that there is a solution to this problem.  Jessica Jacobs acknowledges the problem of Tinder hook up culture and the Millennial girls obvious if disagreeable solution to it

The bad news is that it is sending the Generation X male back to the stud farm.

Wait, I'm sexy again?
How did that happen?
Am I doing it right?

I want to believe that Vanity Fair selected only their most salacious interviewees to quote, but I know that’s not true. I’ve received my fair share of lewd attention during my online dating tenure to verify: It really is that bad. But I’ve noticed a new strategy among my set of female friends—lovely, intelligent, independent women—to combat the grime of the online dating world: date up.
I don’t mean status, I mean age. More and more women I know are dating men twice, yes twice, their age. 

I was expecting an outside the box amount of Daddy Issues from this crop.  What with their fathers being banished from their lives at about age ten.  However, I don't think that is what is in play here.   

There really appears to be an opening in the sexual market place for that male archetype from another era; The Rake

Tinder is something you use to start a fire
Does it look like mine ever went out?

And now she will quote a movie.  That being what passes for literacy today.

In her new film, The Intern, Anne Hathaway stands with Robert DeNiro and a bunch of young male colleagues in a bar and draws a harsh comparison: “How in one generation have men gone from guys like Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to . . .?”She gestures despairingly at the four men in front of her, archetypes of my generation in their hoodies, craft beer in one hand, iPhone in the other, with their untrimmed beards and general lack of ambition.

Actually it was three generations but...

 I see what Hathaway means: Why put up with Tinder when there’s a whole generation of men out there who wouldn’t dream of using it?

I had spotted this trend myself about a short while ago.  Roosh was in the heart of Tinder Hell itself New York City and was having the time of his life.  He hadn't had so many ridiculously easy day time approaches, in a long time.  The girls were practically falling into his pocket. 

Of  course they were.  These girls hadn't been conventionally hit on in years.  Personalized attention from a man who knew how to do it right, must have been exceptionally gratifying.  

There have never been more advantages to relationships with older men, precisely because Tinder and its ilk have made dating feel impossible to those of us who don’t want to participate in the battle of who-cares-less. Reach back two decades and you are more likely to find a man who can’t fathom swiping through a series of pictures to find a mate for the night.

Totally awesome! Says the anachronistic Gen X male.  But is it?
"My single friends often text me pictures of the twentysomethings they’re paired up with and I almost feel sorry for them. Sex lasts, what, 10 minutes? Now you have 23 hours and 50 minutes to talk to someone who says “like” every third word. The sex is terrible, too. They pump away like they’re working at a pump factory and there’s no intellect or imagination involved. It’s like playing tennis with a toddler."

The next generation has to come from somewhere or we are all going to end up cold and alone when Mister Death says, IT IS TIME.  So once again Generation X has to step and save the world.

Honestly, its more pain than pleasure for us. Viagra takes the pressure off and we are at stage in life when we can actually afford it but it does nothing to help with chasing around toddlers when you are in your forties. And then there is the whole, "just put Bobby in the playpen with his uncle Geoff thing." Because that never gets normal.

Look we are just starting to get our own kids out of the house. "Freedom, so long an unremembered dream," was soon to be ours. Now this happens.

So thanks Tinder.  Thanks a whole hell of a lot.  


Tom K. said...

Wow! Just, "Wow!

Gunnar von Cowtown said...

That was a fantastic post with a lot of great information, analysis and lolz. I have a couple of Gen X buddies who are about to go "back to the stud farm", and it'll be interesting to see if their field reports are as grim as McInnes's.

Cataline Sergius said...

@ Gunnar

it'll be interesting to see if their field reports are as grim as McInnes's.

I'll be very surprised, if they don't. About the only way to avoid those problems is to find an Amish girl with Daddy issues.

SciVo said...

The Other McCain fisked the same Vanity Fair article in his own inimitable fashion, focusing more on the feminist wrongheadedness angle, so I linked to yours in the comments.

paulmurray said...

"When there is a surplus of women, or a perceived surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating. Marriages become unstable. Divorces increase."

Except that the huge spike in divorces happened before Tinder. The theory doesn't fit the facts.

Tinder, however, *did* destroy live music. What a let-down! You learn music, practise your riffs, dream of being a rock star, and it tuns out that the only reason people ever went out to see a band was in hopes of picking up and getting laid.