Friday, December 14, 2018

Enjoy This Guy While You Can

He's next on the chopping block.

I read about that in the other Vox.

The Weekly Standard Is Out of Business

Oh, this so breaks my heart.

The Weekly Standard is shutting down, owner Clarity Media Group announced Friday, ending one of the only conservative outlets that consistently stood in opposition to the style and politics of President Donald Trump.

The magazine’s final issue, which was completed Thursday, will publish on Dec. 17, Clarity said in a news release. The decision was communicated to staff members at a 10:30 a.m. meeting

The Weekly Standard is shutting down, owner Clarity Media Group announced Friday, ending one of the only conservative outlets that consistently stood in opposition to the style and politics of President Donald Trump.

The magazine’s final issue, which was completed Thursday, will publish on Dec. 17, Clarity said in a news release. The decision was communicated to staff members at a 10:30 a.m. meeting.

All staff members were terminated, with pay through the end of the year, a Clarity spokesperson confirmed, saying that the office will be closed on Friday. Severance is being offered by Clarity and its publishing arm, MediaDC, two staff members told POLITICO, contingent on employees signing a nondisclosure agreement — a stringent condition from a media company that states on its website a mission to “inform and enlighten readers.”


The decision to shutter came after more than a week of uncertainty for employees. Amid rumors of its possible demise, Clarity said 10 days ago that it was “exploring a number of possibilities” for the conservative journal, but since then executives have remained silent, including Clarity owner Philip Anschutz, the billionaire conservative donor.

Measured criticism of Candidate Trump was certainly permissible.  

Indeed and truly, his presidency at the outset, looked like it was an impossibility.  Pushing hard against a man who didn't look like he could take the party to victory was one thing.

Continuing to hysterically oppose him year after he won the election was something else entirely. 

Good riddance, to the Weekly Standard.  It was a nest of traitors that won't be missed.

Your Chinese Word of the Day: Baizuo

I don't think we'll be making this a regular feature here at the Dark Herald but it's a good one off:

Baizuo [Chinese & IPA characters omitted], literally "white left"]) is a derogatory Chinese neologism used to refer to Western leftist liberal elites. It refers to the left faction in the culture wars in Western politics, implying support of multiculturalism, political correctness and positive discrimination.

In more than 400 answers submitted by Zhihu users during 2015 to May 2017, the term is defined as referring to those who are hypocritically "obsessed with political correctness" in order to "satisfy their own feeling of moral superiority" motivated from an "ignorant and arrogant" Western-centric worldview who "pity the rest of the world and think they are saviours". A related term is shengmu ([Chinese characters omitted], literally "holy mother", title for the mother of an emperor), a sarcastic reference to those whose political opinions are guided by emotions and a hypocritical show of selflessness and empathy, represented by celebrities such as J. K. Rowling and Emma Watson.

I, for one welcome our new Chinese Overlords and would like to remind them in advance that as a massively influential author and blogger, I can be counted to...

Atheists Are Very Very Stupid

I know they don't think so but holy crap are they bad at proving otherwise.

This is from (gag) Buzzfeed.  It's three atheists sitting down with a woman pastor, (yeah I, know Buzzfeed was stacking the deck).

Or at least they were trying to stack the deck.  Truth be said, she didn't do badly in dealing with them.

The long haired girl might be able to land a man that will take her by the hand and lead her, that is her best hope.

The girl in the baseball hat might-MIGHT be able to find her own way to salvation.

The Gamma Male hipster however clearly can't make any kind of a human connection so a spiritual one is not going to happen.   Anyone can be saved but the Savior is going to have to Touch him personally and then he will have to listen to the Word.

Maybe be can be save but I feel it is unlikely, "The gates of Hell are barred from the inside."

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Stargate: Re-Vue

This intellectual property is about to hit it's quarter century mark and it doesn't look like it's going to be swept under the pop cultural rug any time soon.

One movie, two long running series, a couple of straight to DVD flicks and a single one season disaster. In fact MGM was recently trying to make it the masthead for their own pay to stream service.

If you never heard of Stargate: Origins you aren't alone.  The plot had something to due with Nazis just before the start of WWII.  The lead for what has always been a he-man action adventure franchise was (of course) a young woman.  She was the silly action figure version of the old lady from the first movie; Katherine.  The trailer featured men being in awe of what an ass kicker  she suddenly was.  The Katherine character had never been a noted ass kicker before but I was okay with that.  Largely, because it meant that I didn't have to waste any time or money watching something that was obviously hot garbage. It was supposed to run for ten episodes and they only made three of them. I don't think I missed anything.

It was a stupid idea and a sad one.  The Stargate franchise has always had fairly strong female characters without making any them into men with tits. Starting with the first one, Stargate (1994).

After some measured success with Moon 44 and Universal Solider,  Stargate was Roland Emmerich's shot at the big time and there is no getting around it, he hit the target.  A twenty million dollar film that made around two hundred million worldwide. Rather than make a sequel he moved on to become the king of the Nineties Disaster Movies.  Can't fault his career choice.  Although recently, he tried to reboot Stargate with the brilliant idea of chucking 100% of the TV canon.  His vision and only his vision was to be the one that counted.  This flick appears to have died in development and Stargate fans everywhere are deeply grateful.  In truth the TV series was in production for so long that the original film is barely a footnote by now.  The fans would have rejected it out of hand.

Emmerich's ideas for the reboot were totally wrong and yet he got a lot right with the first film.  Not that it didn't have it's downsides as well.

The Good:

The very first thing is the music.  There is no getting around it. This is undoubtedly David Arnold's best work and it contributes massively to the film's tone.  Honestly, I'm not sure Stargate would have ever been anything other than some utterly forgotten, medium grade, mid-90's popcorn burner if it hadn't been for Arnold's score.   In my view it's up there with John William's Star Wars and it absolutely carried the film.  When the film begins, the opening strands of flutes conveyed ancient mystery, then it slowly built to a magnificent crescendo that brilliantly depicted glorious wonder.

Here is the reveal of the stargate itself.  If you want to see what I mean play it without the sound first and then play it again with the sound on.

Advance to 2:45 mark.

Emmerich's direction and cinematography were also good.  He was just coming out of the Indy world so he was used to doing a lot with a little.  Here he managed to recreate the feel of a Cecil B Demille's biblical epic with what was, in it's day, a shoestring budget.

The acting was good.  This is Kurt Russel's most under-rated performance.  You could really see the pain in his eyes as the father whose only son was tragically dead.  He was a man with nothing to live for and was thus quite willing to die.  Duty was the only thing that was animating him.

David Spader's Daniel Jackson was a brilliant but demi-autistic Egyptologist, whose quest for a truth that he knew to be real, had utterly destroyed his career and his reputation. That was well presented when we are introduced to Katherine, who points out, "everything you own is in those to two bags."  It was only natural that he would leap for a chance to prove his theories right.

Shau'ri as portrayed by Israeli actress Mili Avital, while born into a genuinely patriarchal society and was given to a stranger as a gift, yet was strong enough to start a rebellion on behalf of a husband she literally had only just met the day before.  This is how you portray a genuinely strong woman.

These guys all brought the goods.  Nobody was phoning it in.

The Mediocre:

The script.  It really isn't one of the all time greats.  This was after all a Roland Emmerich film and he prefers to tell a story in sweeping imagery.  Okay so far as that goes but...

The film opens in 1922 in Egypt.  In less than two minutes we see some of the worst archaeology this side of Indiana Jones.  Little Katherine steals an artifact off a cataloging table because she thinks it's pretty. Horrifyingly egregious field practice but then that was to be expected because the professor in charge, clearly learned his craft at the feet of Heinrich Schliemann.  Without any kind of advance notice or orders from him the workers start (for no apparent reason at all) are hauling this big metal ring they just found upright.  While the cinematography does what Emmerich wanted it to and evokes images of Hebrew Slaves Raising a Monolith, the emotional impact was quite far from pure.  By 1994 pretty much everyone knew that you didn't do shit like that during an archaeological dig.  I recall that I was expecting the professor to run in screaming at them, "stop it you morons!  What the hell are you doing?! This is site contamination! This is destruction of the dig field. You're ruining the find of my life!"  But no, he just stands there in wonder and astonishment.

Later in the film.  When Daniel spots some Airman reading a newspaper, he makes a deus ex machina leap in logic that allows him eureka his way to the conclusion that the symbols on the gate are constellations.   Okay, occasionally you need to kick start a story and in truth I've done worse myself.  But then we find out that they had long since been able to plug in six of the seven symbols needed to activate it.  Yeah there was a lot of random pictograph shit on this device but they had it for seventy two years!  It was another Roland Emmerich WTF moment, where any reasonably mid-to low wit audience member was saying, "why the hell didn't they just try each symbol?  Just try each one, you've literally had decades to work this out."  I know Emmerich likes to keep things dumbed down but seriously, anyone who successfully managed to pay the price of admission was again left going, "oh come on, movie! Stop it!"

The recon mission is possibly the least well thought out military expedition in history. "Doctor Jackson says he can decode the dial home address from the other side. Let's roll! ...  Aw shit, he just remembered to tell us he'll need a rock with a Stargate address on the other side of the wormhole.  Maybe, we should have talked things over with him a bit more before taking a one way trip to the other side of the universe."  Honestly, the Donner Party had things better planned than this.

And why all those flairs instead of flashlights?  Flashlights are good.  NVG maybe a bit better when you aren't trying to skyline yourself to the locals...Which admittedly wasn't a big priory for this mission now that I think about it.

This film is filled with crap like this.

Imagery superseded any kind of real world logical restraints on the story.  It's lazy but it has to be said, James Cameron does the exact same damn thing.  Besides that wasn't the worst thing in this movie.

The Creepy:

In the early 1990s there was no greater source of dudebro fun than watching The Crying Game with a friend who wasn't in on the "secret."

Cataline the Younger (watching his friend's face and not the screen): Whoa, things are getting good, now! Let's see what she's got!

Dudebro Friend:   Who is this chick? I've never seen her before. Yeah she's totally smoking hot. Kind of a  flatty but DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK?

Cataline the Younger: Ha! Ha! Ha! (gasp...wheez...gasp) Ha! Ha! Ha!

Dudebro Friend: No! NONONO!

Cataline the Younger: Your'e gay now! You were turned on by a dude. Totally gay! 

Dudebro Friend: Fuck you!  I didn't know it was a guy!

Cataline the Younger:  I. Have. Planted. The Seed. Of. Doubt.

Dudbro: What is wrong with you?

Cataline the Younger (wiping tears of laughter from his eyes):  That was so good!  We gotta do this to Jimmy now.

Dudbro (pauses for a moment): Fuck yeah! You got his number?

Good times.  Good times.

There is no denying it, Jay Davidson had a gift.  But it was a weird one.  He was a man who could send out the actual female vibe.

Most Trans want to do it but can't. He could. In The Crying Game it was great for shock value when the big reveal happened.  But in Stargate it was very odd and off putting because he was meant to be playing a 10,000 year old boy.

As creepy as Jaye Davidson's androgyny was, it didn't hold a candle to the homo-erotic pedophilia on display.

 Back when I first saw it, I dismissed it with a, meh, the director is trying to do an old timey Ancient Movie Egypt look.

Given what we have found out in the last few years, the scales have fallen from my eyes.   The cesspit is pretty deep in Hollywood.  If something looks creepy to you then the motives behind it were just as creepy.  You don't come up with images like that unless your imagination spends a lot time in that place.

For me, being gay in Hollywood was easy,” Roland Emmerich recently said.

When Stargate was adapted for television, it was first run on Showtime.  Showtime demanded a nude scene for an actress and it's to the producer's credit that he fought it.  When I recently rewatched the pilot, I saw that the full frontal nude in question had been changed into a 'from the shoulders up shot.'  Good for him.

For his part Jay Davidson, quit acting and went back to being a model.  I'd say good for him as well but now he's a tatted out circus freak.

So in conclusion.  Stargate was a film where the science was done by people who didn't science at all. The story was incredibly weak in every way available to it. Style mattered drastically more than substance and there was a strong pedophile vibe to it.

But the music is still great and it's still a decent enough action/adventure/explorer film.

If you want to see a good versions of Stargate, no problem.  SG1 and Atlantis, are available on Amazon Prime now, as well as the made for DVD films of  Continuum and Ark of Truth.

Stargate Universe is also available but it was touched by John Scalzi and so tragically it is utter crap.

Okay, I'm done here.


Avatar the Theme Park

I've been there myself and there is no getting around it.

This one tries harder than anything else in Disney World.  I mean it really freaking tries.  It is the most try-hard park I've been to.  And it doesn't really succeed. 

And Jenny is right.  It really did kind of feel like it was built entirely out of spite.  Fuck you for Harry Potter, Universal Studios!  Fuck you, our own fans for being convinced we would never actually build it because it is kind of bad idea.  We went and did it.  

We. Are. Disney. 

Favorite line: an eight year old boy looks up at father and asks, "so, there was a movie too?"


Guys forget about the the movie.  It was freaking garbage.

This is actually something sadder but completely expected.

Disney is now an insanely massive corporation.  It doesn't remotely resemble the company Walt left behind when he died. Past a certain point the East Coast elites will absorb any major company that is publicly held.  We all know that by now.

Since it is so huge, there are components of it that are not completely synced up in terms of SJW convergence no matter what Bob Iger wants from the entire company.

For instance, Marvel Comics is  famously: SJW Cancerous:  Organization is so diseased it is destroying everything it touches. One that is so converged it is completely dysfunctional and is only still surviving due to it's ability to parasitize a host.

Where as Disney Parks were the last sad bastion of Walt Disney's vision.  They were by there nature
SJW Resistant: Organizations whose internal culture is resistant to entryism by it's nature. Any place where everyone has to start at the bottom and work like hell just to get a foot in the door. Lower level corporate culture provides considerable protection. 

(*Surprise*) Example: Disney Parks, "Yeah I know it's 94 degrees and you are wearing a forty pound bear suit. NOW DANCE MORE SPRITELY YOU FAGGOT!" Entryism in these cases are the result of top down pressure, when it can be managed at all.

Avatar the Park is a classic example of SJW doubledown.  It was a bad idea that was relentlessly pursued no matter how obviously self destructive the idea clearly is when viewed over the long term because it allows the corporate leadership to virtue signal.

This never happened at the parks before but is sure as hell is happening now.  SJW convergence is being imposed from on high.

Monday, December 10, 2018

SJW Couple Accidently Writes the Greatest Black Knight Song of All Time

UPDATE:  This post is turning into a holiday classic here at the Dark Herald.  On the bottom paragraph you will see that I mentioned the strong possibility of an infringement letter.

Yep, they got one.


Oh they didn't mean to write the greatest black knight song of all time.  That was nowhere in the picture when they did it and they probably have no idea what Black Knighting is.

But none the less they managed it.

The song they were attempting to maul was that comically flirtatious holiday ballad of seduction; Baby It's Cold Outside.

This classic is a product of the 1940s and it shows.  The song was first performed by a husband and wife song writing team at a party for their friends.  Game aware innuendo is most sultry felt through out.

The first line, "I really can't stay."  Translates to modern English as, "we're not having sex."  I assume you are all far enough along to know what that actually means.

Good! Glad you're up to speed.

Now, I rather like the song myself.

Have a listen to the original version.  This one has KHAAAAAAN, singing it.

It's harmless, playful and impish.  It's also completely obvious that the girl is only doing a hard to get routine. She was always planning to stay the night but she wants a bit of seduction first to build sexual tension.  She is right to do so, it will make things more fun for both of them later, when she "gives in to her baser urges."

As I said a holiday classic that has been enjoyed by two generations of adults and rejected by a third  that finds Pepe LePew "triggering".

Naturally SJWs tried to ruin it as instinctively as a beaver builds a dam...And failed epically.

From the Huffpogue

If you’ve ever listened to the classic Christmas song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” then you know it’s a really screwed up tune.

A couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, found the ditty so unnerving that they decided to revamp it for a modern audience, reworking the lyrics to “emphasize the importance of consent,” according to CNN.

The original 1944 lyrics by Frank Loesser include problematic lines like, “What’s in this drink?” crooned by a woman and “What’s the sense in hurtin’ my pride?” by the man.

The duo, singer-songwriters Lydia Liza and Josiah Lemanski, told CNN that they felt that the original song was “aggressive and inappropriate,” arguing that the listener never finds out what happens to the woman in the song.

“You never figure out if she gets to go home. You never figure out if there was something in her drink. It just leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth,” said Liza.

The couple’s revised lyrics are adorably consensual, opening with “I really can’t stay” sung by Liza and “Baby, I’m fine with that” sung by Lemanski.

Most notably, when Liza sings, “I ought to say no, no, no,” Lemanksi responds with “You reserve the right to say no.”

And with you the answer will always be, no because no woman willing goes to bed with a Gamma SJW.

I know this gamma muffin was trying to plagiarize his way to a paean on the joys of Consent.  What he actually managed to create was pretty much much the opposite.  It's the story of a Man with Options and he wants to exercise the Put Option.  Here are some of the most unintentionally funny lyrics I've ever read.

I Really Can't Stay...Baby, I'm Fine with That! 

I have to go away...Baby, I'm cool with That!

This evening has been so very nice...I'm hoping you get Home safe!

This sounds for all the world like a guy who is trying like hell to end a really shitty date with a girl who is just so fucking clingy.

Things are obviously going to get brutal fast if she doesn't leave soon.  The early days of Game are gone for this player, he isn't willing to hop on just about anything that moves anymore.  Women, while once  an unbearable source of hopeless longing, have become a bother and a nuisance at this point.

He doesn't just have Options, he has Priorities.  

He is not seeing a night of wild, delicious carnal passion ahead.  No, he is looking at her and seeing two and half hours of sleep he won't be getting back.  He has got a meeting first thing in the morning that he has to be sharp for.  The snow is getting bad, so the driveway is going to have to be cleared before he can launch which means no breakfast, again.  And if he doesn't get this bitch on the road soon, she is going to be stuck there all damn night.  She is just not worth the bother, it's not like she brought her twin sister along.

Consent is so important and I'm not giving you mine.

Anyway, enjoy this rib tickler of a song while you still can because in case you are wondering, the answer is, no.  Baby It's Cold Outside, is NOT in public domain.  Thanks to the Huffington Post this idiot SJW couple has now been sky lined enough, that they will be staring down the barrel of an infringement letter shortly.


Yeah they got hit with cease and desist and had to take their song down.

Here's my favorite version of the original.